In my previous blog I told you I am secretly rich. It turns out I am even richer than I previously thought. I got the email underneath from Dr.Evans Egobia (don’t worry that there is no space between Dr. and the rest of the name!). While Mrs Obama was blowing my cover by revealing that I had a hidden fortune of £25,000,000.00 she was willing to transfer into my account, Dr.Evans Egobia just confirmed that I am the beneficiary of a fund, the total of which is us$35,500,000.00 million! (Don’t mind the double dollar sign in letters and then in symbol. I hope secretly though that the “million!” in letters at the end of $35,500,000.00 means that the total amount is $35,5 million times million! I tried to calculate how much that is but my calculator broke!)
What I like about this particular mail is that after “Dear Friend, It” the shift button for the capital letters completely disappeared from Dr.Evans Egobia’s laptop or whichever machine was used to type this mail to me. Every sentence begins with small letters and sometimes spaces between full stops are forgotten and “I” became “i” everywhere. I think I will donate part of my secret money to the people at the Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources in Abuja, Nigeria to do a crash course in English grammar. Don’t let me even start mentioning the spelling and other semantic anomalies in the mail.
Before all of you get carried away, I am only being offered 25% of this $35,5 million times million. If you read very well you will even see that the former president of Nigeria olusegun aremu obasanjo (don’t mind the lack of capital letters at the beginning of the names!), somehow had a role to play in this money. I am walking with the high and the mighty. First Michelle Obama and now olusegun aremu obasanjo, the former president of Nigeria. How many of you can say those 2 high flyers are taking care of your money? Eat your heart out! So without too much hassles, I will leave you to read the full mail.
Oh, before I do that, I need a piece of advice from you. I am told to “Reply to firstname.lastname@example.org” but the email came from email@example.com even though the person is working at the address below. So which address do you advise me to send my reply to? To everyone who offers an advice good or bad, I promise you 10% of my 25% of us$35,500,000.00 million! Now you may read further 😉
Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources
Address FCDA Secretariat, Garki
Phone +234 9 314 1931
Fax +234 9 314 2532
P.M.B. 135, Garki, Abuja, FCT
It is with trust and confidence that i write to make this urgent business proposal to you.i was assigned by two of my colleague to seek for a foreign partner who will assist us in providing a convenient foreign account in any designated bank abroad for the transfer of us$35,500,000.00 pending on our arrival in your country for utilization and disbursement with the owner of the account.
this amount results from a deliberate inflation of the value of a contract awarded by our ministry – the federal ministry of agriculture (fma)to an expatriate company.the contract has been executed and payment made to the original contractor,remaining the over-invoiced amount of us$35.5 million,which we want to transfer the funds out the country in ourfavour for disbursement among ourselves.the transfer of this money can only be possible with the help of a foreigner who will be presented as the beneficiary of the fund.
as government officials, we are not allowed to operate foreign accounts,and this is the reason why we decided to contact you. we have agreed that if you/your company can act as the beneficiary of this fund (us$35,500,000.00 million)25% of the total sum will be for you for providing the account while 5% will be set aside for the expenses incurred during the cost of transfer of the fund into your account while 70% will be reserved for us.
we hereby solict for your assistance in providing a convenient account number in a designated bank abroad where this fund would be transferred.we intend coming over there on the completion of this transfer to secureour own share of the money.
please note that we have been careful and have made all arrangements towards the success and smooth transfer of the fund to your acccount beforeyou. for security reasons and confidenciality of this transaction, we demand that you should not expose this proposal and the entire transaction to anybody.
we are putting so much trust in you with the hope that you would not betray us. or sit on this money when it is finally transferred into your account.berest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free. if this proposal is acceptable to you,indicate your interest by sending a email to us including your bank name & address,account number,telephone and fax numbers.
note:our former president olusegun aremu obasanjo collaborated with the former chairman of the economic financial crime commission , mallam nuhun ribadu to stop the junior ranks officers from transferring funds out of the country. he sent different publication to many countries in the world as propaganda to discourage all government officials from transferring funds into an overseas account to avoid and save guides the countries economy.
apparently, so that other government officials will not benefits from these( oil windfalls venture) where he has been a culprit alone with his aides.more details about this transaction will be given to you as soon as we receive your positive respond.
note that the particular nature of your company’s business is irrelevant to this transaction. if this transaction interests you, your urgent response will be appreciated.
Reply to firstname.lastname@example.org